Rustynastysexy's Blog

No

Marilynmarsha — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 14:27:17 +0000

I feel Ugly
I feel lousy
I feel fat
I feel short
I feel big
I feel that she’s prettier then me
I feel that she’s slimmer then me
Fuck it, fuck it.
Imma loser, big loser.
Im not pretty, Im not slim.
Fuck it fuck it!
Im going crazy soon, very soon if this conti.
I want to kill myself, so i wont hurt pain forever.
Love is the greatest pain, jealousy kills.

Mm

Marilynmarsha — Wed, 05 May 2010 16:13:24 +0000

I always love Marilyn Monroe, I dont know why also. My room are flooded with her things too, and Im still collecting her stuff haha. So now, Im thinking of a Mm tattoo.

Maybe a big one? But i have to think bout wearing a gown in the future ;/

I kinda like this, small and simple (Y)

This is like so gorgeous, but it definitely hurt a lot and costs a bomb lols

<3 Maybe..

Ya, I would to. But getting an tattoo are so fucking troublesome in asian, cause tattoo in asians eyes are always gangster and bad ppl would get it only, wtf? Like my dad, arghhh okay, ciaos.

xoxo.

Awhile

Marilynmarsha — Tue, 04 May 2010 15:52:52 +0000

Hihi, its been awhile. I’ve been doing nothing in like close to a month, arrghhh. It had been 6 months together with Bb also. it feels like, yeh its fast and its slow too. So many ups and downs too. Our fighting skills also went up, LOL. A lot of scars too.

Haha, I still <3 you kay. Never change, Im tryingg to change for the better, Ily.

Hi

Marilynmarsha — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 18:17:42 +0000

Love is the greatest instant pain, especially when you find out things that might hurt you deeply.

z

Marilynmarsha — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 18:03:54 +0000

Hi, Im bored. knnbccb. Kay bye.

Hello luv

Marilynmarsha — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 15:17:31 +0000

Hurhur, so boring! im not used to it when baby’s working. Tsk! Must find something to entertain myself.
Sometimes parents loves too much can leads to hated! Even my own aunt discouraged me, why? I know i can’t let others words bring me down. But SHE IS MY KIN. omg, I’m so sad. Nothing seems to be gud now, i hate it. Not working, not studying, no motivation of anything! Hais. Sudd i got to urge to look at wedding gowns, how you want your dream wedding to be? ;3
My dream wedding is gonna be like…

A damn cool wedding dress that you’ll gonna wear it once in your fucking life only!

A awesome cake? ^^

At a beach or a church ^^ omg isn’t it lovely?

A pure white roses? Er.. No. It looks like a funeral kay.

How bout blue roses! (Y) awesomenessI LUV BLUE ROSES ;’)

Hurhur, so nice. Hello? Im still young kay fuck, kay bye.

Everytime

Marilynmarsha — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 18:45:44 +0000

Come notice me
And take my hand
why are we strangers when
Our love is strong
Why carry on without me?

Everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
Everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, it’s haunting me
I guess I need you baby

I make believe
That you are here
It’s the only way
I see clear
What have I done?
You seem to move on easy

Everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
Everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, it’s haunting me
I guess I need you baby

I may have made it rain
Please forgive me
My weakness caused you pain
And this song is my sorry

At night I pray that soon your face
Will fade away

;’(

Marilynmarsha — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 14:53:35 +0000

I don’t wanna pick up your call, cause I don’t want to hear your voice. Not because I’m angry, its the love i have for you too much, and i don’t wanna feel hurt.

I send you those messages because I’m disappointed, and i just wants you to treat me better and care for me. But you doesn’t seems to get it, and yet you pissed off.

I thought I’m the luckiest girl, cause i never ever thought that this relationship would start. The most happiest thing will leads to the most hurtful thing. I really don’t know how to express my feelings. Everyday im thinking, why am i so sad almost everyday? Even when im with you. Is there something lacks in you? or me? I just cant figure it out, im pissing off. Sometimes it really makes me hate love too. I can’t tell you about this too cause i know you won’t listen. I’ve said before, what hurts you the most? the ones that are the closest to you couldn’t understands you. Nobody understands me. I really wanna knock myself out, and end this life game. It sux. Why is the world changing so tremendously? Even you people! I hate it! Why can’t we remain the same forever? Why must we change so that people will get hurt? When Im troubled, who can i talk to? When I’m feeling low, who can cheer me up? When Im crying, does anybody know? Don’t know! Cause I don’t want people to know that Im weak, I wanna be strong. But I can’t! Im a loser, cause I could only rant on a computer. I hate me. All i want is just you to cheer me up. Where are you when I’m sad? You’re my medication know. ;( Did you really care bout me like me stalking everything bout you? Did you even read my blog? Where are you??? ;’( I need you now.

I guess I’ll be fine tmr, better time.

Hi

Marilynmarsha — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 10:08:00 +0000

Too much expectations leads to disappointment. And when you takes time to realized it, its too late. It doesn’t seems important to you, but to me, it does. When did you last really care bout me? Do you really know my needs and wants? Do you understands me? Everyday you’re giving me disappointment. Whatever things I do you doesn’t seems to appreciated. Actually I’m not that difficult to hoax, I’m just like those usual girls. A little time, sweet talks and surprise will us all happy right? Isn’t this that make girls a priority? Isn’t that because we are called girls? And being easily cheated by guys? Huh? Isit too much for you to just pampered me everytime? I know you might felt boring now as time goes by. The way you treat me had shown that you… I don’t know. I like to think a lot. But those things that i think are usually true all the times. But if you really <3 and care bout me, it doesn’t matter where we go, its bout having the time together. But you don’t, you’ll get bored outside. As they said, there is no forever sweet love. Like the one you have on your first month of relationship. Then, bf will thinks that you’re annoying, a pest being around his side, being irk when you just wanna him to pamper you. And you thought that are you not perfect for him? Or suspects his love for you… has fade. That really the last last thing that you could ever thought of.

Hey Luv, If you really cares bout me, can you shower your love over me like forever? Impossible right?

Lovely huh?

Marilynmarsha — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 15:59:58 +0000